The transition question

Traveling back to Canada recently for my sister’s wedding, I was met with the same question from many people “So, what are you planning on doing next?” It’s a good question. Even when I returned to the YWAM base in Brisbane, many people asked that same thing of me.

I’ve committed to working with YWAM Brisbane until June 2013 – doing hospitality, overseeing some projects on base, facilitating base meetings, working with youth in the community.

That’s all I know.
And I’m alright with that.

I guess in a time of transition, even if I’m not thinking down the road just yet, everyone else is. Earlier this month a large Discipleship Training School graduated. So between staff and students there were some 50 people asking that very question of themselves – what’s next?

Here is where my personal battle lies - do I reach and attempt something that’s kind of scary and unknown or do I stick with what I know?

Status quo doesn’t rock the boat.

Jesus called Peter (his disciple) out of the boat to walk on water.

That seem pretty clear. God, will almost always call us to something that’s a bit scary but guarantees that He will be there every step of the way.

***
“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
Matthew 14:29 (NIV)

When the going gets tough

I admit it.  The last few weeks have been an insanely big struggle.

Today I feel like a defeated teenager who’s just come home from her day at school crying because the cute, popular boy doesn’t like her…or her girlfriends didn’t invite her to sit at the ‘cool table’…or she’s not even sure why, but life...just…sucks.

Day-after-day since the middle of February (when work on the feature film began) I’ve been confronted with the same few issues:
- emotional eating
- desiring a relationship (marriage)
- striving or performance-based worth
- unhappiness of where I’m at in life

They are all things I’ve struggled with in the past, but for one reason or another they are extremely amplified right now. It’s almost as though I’m in the middle of a battle…sometimes I feel like I’m fighting, other times like I’m the one being fought over. I guess that’s ultimately what spiritual warfare boils down to.

Disappointedly so, I’ve been playing into the enemy’s tactics. The negative thoughts grow louder than the positive ones more often than not. Because I’ve been so busy with the feature film my times with God each day are more hurried, less sincere, or vague and unfocused.

I wanted working on this film to be a chance to learn how to ‘work’ and keep up a consistent spiritual life. But, it’s tough. I’ve been spared many distractions while being in the YWAM community. Stepping foot into a more regular work environment – in fact similar in feel to a television news room – has forced me to take a hard look at myself. 

When the going gets tough, I don’t necessarily like what I find in myself. I really hope that’s the point: difficult circumstances make me realize how much I need God, need Christ, to be what pour out of me and carry me. Perhaps this whole film experience has been God's way of perfecting the character in me that He wants...cutting off the attitudes or thinking that aren't of Him. I can only hope.

***

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.  John 15:2 (NIV)

Beautiful

I love that it’s the simplest things in life that make my heart soar.

Bamboo swaying in the night breeze, sounding like an old, creaking door…
Sunrise shining on me while I jog or lift weights…
The smell of freshly brewed coffee…
Waking up to the sounds of birds singing…
Climbing into bed after a long day…
Laughing until my stomach hurts…
Talking to God while laying on a hammock at a farm…
Good, long hugs…
Cooking and enjoying a meal with friends…
The smile on someone’s face when you’ve just ‘made their day’…
Praying for other people and encouraging them…

The best thing I’ve realized about enjoying the simplicity of life’s pleasures is that it is easily found. It doesn’t matter where I live, what I do or who I’m with, I’m able to find things in which I find joy. The secret, I think, is to keep my eyes open to them. 

In all these things I see God’s hand. He knows what makes my heart happy, and so often puts me smack-dab in the middle of His beauty. Even in spending quiet time with Jesus each day, I find that joy, or peace, or contentment that I might be lacking elsewhere in my day. The real simplicity of my relationship with Christ not only gives me what I need in my own life, but also gives me an attitude or abilities He wants me to use to bless others.

That is truly beautiful. 

****
I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Philippians 3: 8 (NIV)

Power of Life and Death

Sometimes I don’t realize how stupid I sound until I hear someone else complaining about the same thing. In three months my younger sister is getting married. And then in four months I’ll be turning 30-years-old. It’s quite the year for big things. But it also makes me wonder if I’ve missed the proverbial boat.

There are days I say to God “I know you know, but just to remind you I’m almost 30. And there are certain things a woman – this woman – would like to have. You know, a husband to go through life with would be great…a family…a clear and steady calling. Okay thanks!”

Yet I know, “The tongue has the power of life and death,” (Proverbs 18:21) and not just in what I say to other people. Words are equally as powerful when I speak them over myself. If either aloud or just in my head I have the power with my words to dictate attitudes – my own and those of other people. 

So when I heard a few other late-20-something women the other day lamenting about their lack of a man, I cringed. “Oh gosh, is that how I sound!?!” It was a bit of a slap in the face, because I know that in reality there is absolutely nothing lacking in my life.

****

Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach;
   good talk is as gratifying as a good harvest.
Words kill, words give life;
   they're either poison or fruit—you choose.    Proverbs 18:20-21 (The Message)

Someday is Today

“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.”

I’ve decided I really like Thomas Jefferson for that suggestion alone. Sure he was also one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America, and its third president. But his motivating statement, along with several similar ones in the Bible, is giving me a great boost for this New Year.

I’m re-reading Proverbs for the month of January, as a solid Biblical foundation for 2012. Conveniently, the Old Testament book has 31 chapters – one for every day!  Here’s what I got out of today’s reading in chapter 1: a Christ-centred life is one of discipline; not just in spending time with God, but in all areas of life. For me that includes being disciplined in how we respond to what happens in our life (anger vs. self-control), how and what we eat, exercise, sleep, spending money, loving other people…it’s kind of an endless list. As Christ followers, we must be consistent in seeking God’s direction so we know how to live righteously. 

The word righteously might bring to mind many spiritual ideas, or even those ‘holier than thou’ types. But I believe that God cares not just about the condition of our spirits, but also our mind and body (the concrete/physical aspects of us that exist on earth). So what are the things that I…you…we know we should be doing with our lives? What are those things that keep getting put off for tomorrow, or someday? 

Someday I’ll …
…go to bed earlier.
…wake up earlier.
…start eating better.
…get into shape.
…go to church.
…pray.
…clean the house so neighbours can come over.
…learn to cook.
…be more loving to others.
…get over my fear of ____.

You get the idea. We are really good at talking up the things we want to do with our lives, but when it comes to the actual doing of these things we fall short. So the challenge for myself and for you is how do we want to start 2012? Do we choose to repeat the similar struggles and stumbles of the previous year? Do we begin the next year of our lives feeling like there’s no room for improvement? I suggest we wake up January 1 with a fresh and positive outlook for what’s to come. We can start the New Year with thoughts, words and actions that will kick-start 2012 on the right path for what both we and God want as good and righteous lives, not just for someday, but for today.

****

The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:
 for attaining wisdom and discipline;
   for understanding words of insight;
for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,
   doing what is right and just and fair;
for giving prudence to the simple,
   knowledge and discretion to the young—
let the wise listen and add to their learning,
   and let the discerning get guidance—
for understanding proverbs and parables,
   the sayings and riddles of the wise.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
   but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Proverbs 1:1-7 (NIV)