...but fear itself.
As I've been getting ready to leave for YWAM and Australia, I can't help but be nervous about the adventure that God is laying out for me. It's an excited nervous, so that's great.
But then is the anxiety I have over flying. I don't know why that fear has become more pronounced. Perhaps working in the news has exposed me to far too many dangerous tales. But I know that this type of fear does not come from God. While He does allow us to feel this way sometimes, it's sometimes a clever way for God to get us to rely on Him more than we were before.
And I can hear my sister ask why the heck I'm writing while sitting here at the airport. Well, it helps clear my head. And I guess it relaxes me too.
Now as I wait for my flight to Los Angeles, and then onward to Brisbane I am resting in God's caring hands. Both for this leg of the journey and the next six months to come.
****
Don't be afraid, just believe. Mark 5:36 (NIV)
The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:7-8 (NIV)
"Fear of danger is ten thousand times more terrifying than danger itself." - Robinson Cruso by Daniel Defoe
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
October 20, 2010
October 6, 2010
Fear of success
The funny thing about fear is that I'm often afraid about the aspects of my life over which I have no control.
And leaving on this 6 month journey in which I hope to deepen my relationship with God is turning me into a bubbling pot of worry.
The most bizarre thing I'm worried about is that I will actually love mission work, and do well at it.
Does that sound odd? Most people WANT to be good at the activities or careers they try. I do too. But it's also scary to think that the life I've known all along was just temporary.
Forget journalism. Forget my love and desire to work in the television industry. This is what you, Lisa, are good at and meant to do with your life. That's huge!
Luckily I'm not the only who will be making this decision. My heavenly Father already has my life's path all carved out for me. He's just showing me little by little what it is.
And while I am afraid of what the next 6 months might mean for my life, I'm also incredibly inspired and excited.
****
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
By Marianne Williamson
And leaving on this 6 month journey in which I hope to deepen my relationship with God is turning me into a bubbling pot of worry.
The most bizarre thing I'm worried about is that I will actually love mission work, and do well at it.
Does that sound odd? Most people WANT to be good at the activities or careers they try. I do too. But it's also scary to think that the life I've known all along was just temporary.
Forget journalism. Forget my love and desire to work in the television industry. This is what you, Lisa, are good at and meant to do with your life. That's huge!
Luckily I'm not the only who will be making this decision. My heavenly Father already has my life's path all carved out for me. He's just showing me little by little what it is.
And while I am afraid of what the next 6 months might mean for my life, I'm also incredibly inspired and excited.
****
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
By Marianne Williamson
October 3, 2010
Joy + Fear = Incompatible
Leaving my job with CBC's Power and Politics was actually a lot more bitter-sweet than I had anticipated. My expectation had been that I would be so joyful to leave the stress behind as I move forward to the adventure of YWAM. But that's not been the case.
On my walk home from my last shift yesterday, I found myself getting teary-eyed. Wow, I was actually sad about leaving CBC and the people I had worked with for the past year. I guess it's no surprise since we did go through 'battle' together to get the first year of the show to air.
But am I actually afraid of leaving behind this constant of my life since last fall?
I'm reading the book "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat".
A great read. And the author, John Ortberg suggests that joy and fear cannot coexist. In fact, my fear of leaving CBC is the same reason why I'm so joyful to leave. I'm going to experience the unknown at YWAM and with God.
To experience true joy with God, I have to trust Him, and trust that He has a plan that will be the best for me and for His kingdom.
But it is nice to know I have a safety net to fall back into if needed. My boss, and the host I work with both said in front of the rest of my coworkers that I am welcome to come back to the show. Thank you for that public approval of my work ethic, abilities and character.
One never knows where the path will lead them. But right now I'm so thankful that God is giving me this chance to travel, learn and meet other energetic Christ-followers.
****
But when you live in fear, the power of the "what if" becomes overwhelming, and you will go through life without joy. Joy and fear are fundamentally incompatible.
"If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat"
by John Ortberg
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34 NIV)
On my walk home from my last shift yesterday, I found myself getting teary-eyed. Wow, I was actually sad about leaving CBC and the people I had worked with for the past year. I guess it's no surprise since we did go through 'battle' together to get the first year of the show to air.
But am I actually afraid of leaving behind this constant of my life since last fall?
I'm reading the book "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat".
A great read. And the author, John Ortberg suggests that joy and fear cannot coexist. In fact, my fear of leaving CBC is the same reason why I'm so joyful to leave. I'm going to experience the unknown at YWAM and with God.
To experience true joy with God, I have to trust Him, and trust that He has a plan that will be the best for me and for His kingdom.
But it is nice to know I have a safety net to fall back into if needed. My boss, and the host I work with both said in front of the rest of my coworkers that I am welcome to come back to the show. Thank you for that public approval of my work ethic, abilities and character.
One never knows where the path will lead them. But right now I'm so thankful that God is giving me this chance to travel, learn and meet other energetic Christ-followers.
****
But when you live in fear, the power of the "what if" becomes overwhelming, and you will go through life without joy. Joy and fear are fundamentally incompatible.
"If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat"
by John Ortberg
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34 NIV)
September 20, 2010
Will I turn to nail biting?
I'll be perfectly honest. I'm freaked out about the things I need to get sorted out, planned, packed, insured, etc. before I leave for YWAM Brisbane.
My real desire when I truly sit down and think about it, is to live a life wholeheartedly committed to God. But now that I'm making this radical leap of faith, I'm questioning myself.
How awful.
I know much of that doubt isn't coming from me. It's coming from the one who doesn't want me to have a closer relationship with God, or that I'll help bring other people to God or for God to even win. Satan is powerful in his lies.
Pray with me that I don't lose sight of wanting to live for God and his purpose. And even though I'm not sure what that will look like just yet, I'm excited to find out.
****
In my heart, in my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside, out
....and the cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
"From the Inside Out" Hillsong United
Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 (NIV)
My real desire when I truly sit down and think about it, is to live a life wholeheartedly committed to God. But now that I'm making this radical leap of faith, I'm questioning myself.
How awful.
I know much of that doubt isn't coming from me. It's coming from the one who doesn't want me to have a closer relationship with God, or that I'll help bring other people to God or for God to even win. Satan is powerful in his lies.
Pray with me that I don't lose sight of wanting to live for God and his purpose. And even though I'm not sure what that will look like just yet, I'm excited to find out.
****
In my heart, in my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside, out
....and the cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
"From the Inside Out" Hillsong United
Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 (NIV)
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