I've been staring at a messy floor in my bedroom for more than a month now. But nothing's given me the motivation to clean it up. I've just tossed clothing on the floor at the end of the day. Dropped books in a pile. Kept shopping bags inside shopping bags tucked in the corner. Each time I've done one of those absent minded, clutter-creating actions I've thought to myself "I really should clean this place up". But I haven't. Until today.
I've met with a friend for the past two days to pray after lunch. She said something interesting today about how her surroundings (her room or the way she even takes care of her body) reflect the way she's feeling spiritually. I know that right now my relationship with God is sort of at a stand still. I have faith He's there. I have faith He wants me here. But I also feel like I'm just praying to a wall. Or that maybe I'm not really going to get to stay in Australia.
Don't get me wrong, life is generally really good right now. But I know God is trying to teach me something about patience and persistence, even when it feels like nothing is really happening. So instead of sluggishly returning home after my day I got to work to get my room looking back to its normal self...tidy, things in order, ready to be used. It's the same thing I'm doing in my spirit too. Getting things in shape with God so that I'll be blessed by Him and can in turn bless others.
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Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit. Psalm 51:10-12 (ESV)
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