Grumble...mumble...grumble

Sometimes living in community, or with other people is frustrating.
The dishes don’t get done.
The toilet bowl is dirty.
There are used cups or mugs left sitting.
The dish rack is overflowing.

A few weeks ago I was standing at the kitchen sink, silently scrubbing away at some mugs, when I thought, “I would gladly clean up my own home for my own family (non-existent children and husband implied).” 

Then God put a stop to my pity-me thought process. 

“If you’d happily serve a family then, why aren’t you happy to serve your housemates now?” God’s question wasn’t so much a slap on the wrist, as much as a reality check. I know I’m kidding myself if I believe I’ll feel a different way under different circumstances.

In the end I’ll still choose to clean. I’d rather see a tidy house.
In the end I will forgive. Or pray. Or work harder. I’ll still to the right thing.
But what my heart is feeling in that moment of doing it is what matters.

I can be ticked off and do the dishes.
Or I can be cheerful and do the dishes.

Others comment on my servant-heart because they only see my outward actions. Luckily, they don’t actually see what’s going on in my heart. Because sometimes it isn’t pretty. It isn’t servant-hearted. My heart screams “Why is it always me that has to pick up after others?” Or, “How come nobody else is organized enough to get this job done?” Instead of choosing to serve gladly, I grumble whole-heartedly throughout the entire process. 

If like me, you want to put an end to your internal grumblings there is good news. You can ask God to help. In asking Him to rid me of my grumbling attitude, I’ve had to do very little to get there. God’s been transforming my heart to joyfully serve, joyfully clean, and joyfully live with others in a unique community.

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If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:8

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9