Leaving my job with CBC's Power and Politics was actually a lot more bitter-sweet than I had anticipated. My expectation had been that I would be so joyful to leave the stress behind as I move forward to the adventure of YWAM. But that's not been the case.
On my walk home from my last shift yesterday, I found myself getting teary-eyed. Wow, I was actually sad about leaving CBC and the people I had worked with for the past year. I guess it's no surprise since we did go through 'battle' together to get the first year of the show to air.
But am I actually afraid of leaving behind this constant of my life since last fall?
I'm reading the book "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat".
A great read. And the author, John Ortberg suggests that joy and fear cannot coexist. In fact, my fear of leaving CBC is the same reason why I'm so joyful to leave. I'm going to experience the unknown at YWAM and with God.
To experience true joy with God, I have to trust Him, and trust that He has a plan that will be the best for me and for His kingdom.
But it is nice to know I have a safety net to fall back into if needed. My boss, and the host I work with both said in front of the rest of my coworkers that I am welcome to come back to the show. Thank you for that public approval of my work ethic, abilities and character.
One never knows where the path will lead them. But right now I'm so thankful that God is giving me this chance to travel, learn and meet other energetic Christ-followers.
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But when you live in fear, the power of the "what if" becomes overwhelming, and you will go through life without joy. Joy and fear are fundamentally incompatible.
"If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat"
by John Ortberg
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34 NIV)
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